All my life I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a bad guy. A drug dealer. I carried it through and through.

I started that life in eighth grade. I have been addicted to every drug there ever was, and I’ve tried everything there is to try. I sold everything, all across the USA.

But I had an awakening last year. It was like an epiphany, during a grave time.

I suffer from schizoaffective disorder. I’m bipolar. I hear voices. This disorder pushed me away from everyone.

I stopped looking at friends as my friends. I didn’t see family as my family. I really shut myself out from everything.

I finally ended up in a homeless shelter. While I was there, a random guy—during that grave time—told me the right things.

He helped me see that God is there for me. That God put me on my path and no matter what I tried to do I could never get off it, because it’s his path for me. He helped me see that God wouldn’t have put me on that path if it wasn’t meant to be.

That conversation struck me pretty hard. I was at the lowest point of my life. I had given up. I didn’t want to fight anymore. I was tired. I was just done. That message of God being with me was all I needed to hear.

I slowly started to change. My in-laws brought me to Epiphany Lutheran Church. They attend another Lutheran Brethren church in New Jersey. They told me eight blocks away from my place in New York was a church I should attend.

I started attending church a week after Mother’s Day. I have been going ever since.

After a few weeks of regular attendance, I asked the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. It was something based on what God was doing in the church. What I had learned and what I had heard.

Epiphany is a life-changer for me. It’s where God saved me. I don’t know where I’d be without the church. I’ve tried multiple times to end things. I thought I could handle things by myself, but I couldn’t.

I’ve tried to end my life with pills. I’ve slashed my wrists. I’ve gashed my face. I have burn marks all over my body. All of this was self-inflicted because I didn’t know how to deal with things. I didn’t know where to direct my life.

But God gave me a chance to change. 

Now, I want to live for him. I want to relate to other people who are still where I’ve been. I want to show people what God has taught me.

Jesus Christ is the answer. The Lord, our Savior.

Turned Upside Down
Disarming Depression